Hypnosis
by Water-zone-8 and tee-hee-me
Summary: Squall finds a book on how to hypnotise and wants to see if he can do it...


Disclamer: All the characters are Squaresoft 's.  
  
HYPNOSIS  
  
  
  
Squall was in his room reading a book on how to hypnotize people.  
  
Squall: Cool…I should try this on someone…  
  
Squall goes to the library and finds Selphie reading a book on Chocobos.  
  
Selphie: Hi Squally.  
  
Squall: Hi.  
  
Squall tells Selphie that he has learnt how to hypnotize people.  
  
Selphie: Cool!  
  
Squall: Do you want to make someone tell you something?  
  
Selphie: Now should I tell you to hypnotize a chocobo or…I got it!!!!!  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Selphie: Hypnotize Irvine.  
  
Squall: Why?  
  
Selphie: I want to know what he thinks of me.  
  
Squall and Selphie run into Irvine's room.  
  
Irvine: What?  
  
Selphie: Hey Irvy.  
  
Squall: Look at me in the eyes…  
  
Irvine: Squall, are you going to ask me out?  
  
Squall: Noooooooo.  
  
Squall puts sticky tape over Irvine's mouth.  
  
Irvine: Muffffffff.  
  
Squall: Ok. Now, look at me in the eyes…  
  
Squall hypnotizes Irvine and takes the sticky tape off.  
  
Selphie: Are you sure he's alive?  
  
Squall (ignoring Selphie) : Irvine, tell us what you think of Selphie.  
  
Irvine (in a mesmerized voice): … Selphie…Selphie…I have no words to express my love…  
  
Selphie: Tee hee.  
  
Squall: Yuck.  
  
Irvine: I love Selphie so much…I want her to be my gf.  
  
Squall: GF? You want Selphie to be your guardian force?  
  
Irvine: NOOO, I want her to be my girlfriend.  
  
Squall: Oh?  
  
Irvine: Yes, I want Selphie to be my gf but I also want to go out with the girl with the pigtail, the lovely blond one, the short brown haired one and…  
  
Squall: You're sick.  
  
Selphie: Grrrrr.  
  
Irvine: Selphie, will you be me girlfriend?  
  
Selphie: Yessssssss!!!!!!!!  
  
Irvine: Does that mean that I can't go on another date?  
  
Selphie: Yup!  
  
Irvine: Damn! Can I cheat on you?  
  
Selphie: NO WAY!!!!!  
  
Squall: Calm down! He is still hypnotized!  
  
Selphie: You can ask questions when you're hypnotized?  
  
Squall: Erm… I don't think so…but he is still hypnotized…you can see that…it looks as if he is gonna fall asleep.  
  
Irvine: zzzz zzz  
  
Selphie: He must have heard the sleep bit.  
  
Squall: See, he is hypnotized!  
  
Selphie: Then why did he ask a question?  
  
Squall: Erm…um…oh, who cares??? This is final fantasy!  
  
Irvine: Wha…what? Who? When? How? Why?  
  
Selphie: Aww, you woke him up.  
  
Squall: Well, you stopped me from concentrating!  
  
Irvine: What is going on?  
  
Selphie: Squall learnt how to hypnotize and we were checking if it works.  
  
Irvine: Does it?  
  
Squall: Apparently yes.  
  
Irvine (whispering in Squall's ear): Could you hypnotize a few girls for me?  
  
Squall: NO.  
  
Squall walks out of the room.  
  
Selphie: I wish I could hypnotize like him…  
  
Irvine: You could if you want to.  
  
Selphie: Hmmm…  
  
*  
  
A little while later…  
  
Selphie: Are you sure he isn't in his room?  
  
Irvine: Positive.  
  
Selphie enters Squall's room and grabs the hypnosis book.  
  
*  
  
Squall: S'up Zell?  
  
Zell: Supper? Where?  
  
Squall: Argh!  
  
Zell: You lied?  
  
Squall: I didn't mean that. Look into my eyes.  
  
Zell: It's ok, I believe you.  
  
Squall: Grrr…I want to test something. Look into my eyes!  
  
Zell: Whatever.  
  
Zell looks into Squall's eyes and soon is hypnotized.  
  
Squall: From now and on you will not like hotdogs.  
  
Zell: Ok.  
  
Squall: Cool, do you like hotdogs?  
  
Zell: Of course I love them.  
  
Squall: Grrrrrr, I guess you can't change everything. Never mind… Tell me something you would really like to do…exept eat.  
  
Zell: I want to go on a date with Quistis.  
  
Squall: !!!!!!…um… Go to my room and wait there.  
  
Zell goes to Squall's room.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Cool, now I know how to hypnotize people.  
  
Irvine: Put the book back and then go test it on someone.  
  
Selphie goes to Squall's room.  
  
Selphie: Zell??  
  
Zell:…  
  
Selphie: Ooh , you're hypnotized…what would Squall want a hypnotized Zell in his room for?  
  
Squall enters with a hypnotized Quistis.  
  
Selphie: What are you doing?  
  
Squall: What are you doing with the book?  
  
Selphie: Um…looking at the beautiful cover.  
  
Selphie shows the brown cover to Squall.  
  
Squall: Oh, yeah? Have you been reading it?  
  
Selphie: I thought you would say: Whatever.  
  
Selphie runs out of the room leaving a red faced Squall.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: So, who will we hypnotize?  
  
Irvine: Umm…the first person we see.  
  
Seifer walks past them.  
  
Irvine: *Gulp*  
  
Selphie: Don't let him get away!!!!!!  
  
Selphie runs after Seifer.  
  
Irvine: Are you serious?  
  
Selphie grabs Seifer.  
  
Seifer: WHAT??????  
  
Selphie kicks Seifer into her room.  
  
Seifer: My butt!  
  
Irvine and Selphie close the door.  
  
Seifer: What?  
  
Selphie: Look into my eyes…  
  
Seifer gets hypnotized.  
  
Selphie: Ok, what do we ask him?  
  
Irvine: Ask him what he did with Rinoa the last summer.  
  
Seifer: Well, I made Rinoa clean my socks and she got mad so she made my phone everyone in Garden with a woman's voice. When I phoned Cowboy-crap he started flirting with me.  
  
Irvine: Oops.  
  
Seifer: Then I had to do the shopping dressed as a woman.  
  
Selphie: Tee hee! Anything else?  
  
Seifer: Yeah, When I got home I had to wash Angelo.  
  
Irvine: Hahahahahahahah!  
  
Selphie: Whatever…You flirted with him!  
  
Irvine turns red.  
  
Squall knocks on the door.  
  
Squall: Gimme my book!  
  
Selphie: Oops, I'm still holding it?  
  
Squall enters and grabs the book.  
  
Squall: Is that Seifer????  
  
Selphie: No, it's Edea.  
  
Squall: Wow, she has changed.  
  
Selphie: You silly fool!  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Selphie: Of course it's Seifer!  
  
Squall: Well, I knew that.  
  
Selphie: Whatever.  
  
Squall: Argh!  
  
Selphie: Oh, I have an idea!  
  
Irvine: What?  
  
Seplhie quickly hypnotizes Irvine.  
  
Squall: Why did you do that?  
  
Selphie: Why don't we hypnotize all our friends?  
  
Squall: Sounds like fun…  
  
*  
  
A little while later in one of the Garden's classrooms Quistis, Zell, Irvine, Rinoa, Seifer and Fujin sit at the desks all hypnotized.  
  
Squall: Well, everyone is here. What do we do?  
  
Selphie: Raijin isn't here.  
  
Squall: He is coming.  
  
Selphie: Hmmm I have an idea! I will make Irvine dance with me.  
  
Irvine get up and start dancing the tango with…  
  
Raijin walks in.  
  
Selphie: …Raijin?  
  
Irvine gets up grabs Raijin and starts dancing.  
  
Selphie: Ooops, I didn't mean to do that!  
  
Raijin: What is going on, ya know?? Let me go!!!!!  
  
Squall pulls Irvine away and Selphie hypnotizes Raijin. Then Irvine and Raijin continue dancing.  
  
Selphie: This really was not supposed to happen!  
  
Squall: Never mind this is fun! Let's go on.  
  
Selphie: Ok.  
  
Squall: Zell, you will be a…  
  
Selphie: Chocobo!  
  
Zell starts being a chocobo.  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Selphie: I always wanted a chocobo!  
  
Selphie starts stroking Zell.  
  
Zell: Kweh, kweh!  
  
Selphie: Do you think I can ride him?  
  
Squall: Umm…I don't think…  
  
Squall sees Selphie sidesaddle on Zell.  
  
Selphie: Woohoo!!!  
  
Squall shakes his head.  
  
Suddenly Cid walks in.  
  
Selphie: Oh no!  
  
Zells runs over Cid.  
  
Cid: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE????  
  
Squall: Look into my eyes.  
  
Cid: Squall, I think you need to see a psychiatrist.  
  
Squall: NOOOOO. Look at me.  
  
Cid: That is what I am doing and that is why I think you need a psychiatrist.  
  
After a bit of reselling with Cid, Squall hypnotizes him.  
  
Squall: Now what?  
  
Selphie: Woohoo, great chocobo ride!  
  
Squall: Are you hypnotized too?  
  
Selphie: No!!  
  
Edea walks in.  
  
Edea: Cid I heard you…  
  
Edea looks around.  
  
Selphie: Squall! Hypnotize her quick.  
  
Squall: Look into my eyes…  
  
Edea faints.  
  
Selphie: Cool, Squall how did you do that?  
  
Squall: I didn't.  
  
Selphie: Hey, tell the others to do something! They are just sitting there!  
  
Squall goes over to Seifer.  
  
Squall: Seifer I want you to do acrobatics with Fujin.  
  
Seifer stands on his head and Fujin jumps onto his feet and does an arabesque.  
  
Selphie gets off the chocobo…erm…Zell and goes to Cid.  
  
Selphie: Ok, hmm pretend to be a monkey.  
  
Cid starts moving and making noises like a monkey.  
  
Squall: That's mean!  
  
Selphie: You left Irvine dancing with Raijin.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Selphie: Quistis I want you to…  
  
Squall: Tell us what you think of Zell!  
  
Selphie: Why?  
  
Quistis: He hasn't learnt his tutorial because he spends so much time in the cafeteria eating hotdogs.  
  
Squall: Is that all? ~_^  
  
Selphie: Why did you ask?  
  
Squall: Zell wants to go on a date with her.  
  
Selphie and Quistis: WHAT????????  
  
Squall: Hypnotized people can't ask questions.  
  
Quistis: They can't?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Quistis: Ok.  
  
Selphie: I can't believe that Zell likes Quistis!  
  
Squall: Hey Zell, do you like Quistis?  
  
Zell: I love her.  
  
Selphie: Ok I believe it.  
  
Squall: But I am guessing Quistis does not want to go out with him.  
  
Quistis: Of course not!  
  
Squall: Quiet! You can't talk unless I tell you to.  
  
Selphie: Awww poor Zell!  
  
Zell: I am not poor, I get a good Seed income!  
  
Squall: You be quiet too…I must have hypnotized them the wrong way.  
  
Quistis: We are hypnotized???  
  
Squall: !!!!  
  
Selphie: I feel so sorry for Zell…he is such a loser!  
  
Zell: Hey!  
  
Selphie: Squall, can't we do something?  
  
Squall: I don't think telling not to be a loser would work…  
  
Selphie: We must do something!  
  
Squall: WE? Why we?  
  
Selphie: Ok. YOU must do something.  
  
Squall: Why me? You should do something.  
  
Selphie: Whatever.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Selphie: Rinoa, Be a DJ.  
  
Rinoa: Ok.  
  
Rinoa puts on Britney Spears.  
  
Selphie: Much better.  
  
Squall: Is this what you are gonna do for them?  
  
Selphie: Yeah.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Selphie: Should we try to wake up Edea?  
  
Squall: Is she still unconscious?  
  
Selphie: Yes, I think we should do something.  
  
Squall: Not we, YOU do something.  
  
Selphie calls Rinoa and tells her to get ready to dance.  
  
Selphie: All the guys who want to dance with Rinoa come here!  
  
Squall: What are you doing?  
  
Selphie: Something.  
  
All the boys in the room rush to where Selphie is standing.  
  
Squall: Is this helping Edea?  
  
Selphie: No, it's for you.  
  
Squall: Eh????  
  
Selphie: Ok, whoever gets Rinoa first will dance with her.  
  
All the boys rush to Rinoa and start fighting over who will dance with her.  
  
Squall: Hey, leave her alone!  
  
Selphie: Keep going!  
  
Squall runs to where all the boys are and tries to get Rinoa away.  
  
After obtaining a lot of bruises he manages to pull her away and leave the boys fighting.  
  
Selphie: Aww that is so sweet!  
  
Squall: What are you doing??  
  
Selphie: I wanted to see if you cared for Rinoa.  
  
Squall: ?????!!!!!!  
  
Selphie: Tee hee…Hey boys stop fighting and start dancing!  
  
Irvine starts dancing with Raijin again, Seifer takes Zell as a partner and Cid starts dancing like a monkey.  
  
Selphie: Oops, my mistake!  
  
Squall: What about Edea?  
  
Selphie: Well, first of all put Rinoa down…um I think we should turn everything back to normal.  
  
Squall: Ok.  
  
Selphie: Do you think we could make just a few changes?  
  
Sqaull: Do you want to help Zell…or do you just want a higher Seed rank?  
  
Selphie: I hadn't thought of the last one…hmmmm.  
  
Squall: You can have both…Cid give me a higher rank.  
  
Cid: Ok.  
  
Selphie: No, give us all a higher Seed rank!  
  
Cid: Ok.  
  
Cid: I want a banana!  
  
Selphie: Oh dear.  
  
Squall: Cid, be hypnotized Cid.  
  
Selphie: Why?  
  
Squall: He can't give us a seed rank if he's a monkey.  
  
Selphie: Right.  
  
Cid: …  
  
Squall: Make us all SeeD rank level A.  
  
Cid: Done.  
  
Squall: Woohoo! I'm level A.  
  
Selphie: Why? What were you?  
  
Squall: Level 30.  
  
Selphie: Big difference.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Selphie( thinking): I better not tell him that he just made Seifer level A.  
  
Squall: Um…everyone sit down!  
  
Everyone sits down.  
  
Selphie: That's better.  
  
Squall: Now we have to turn everyone back to normal. Selphie, give me a hand.  
  
Selphie starts clapping.  
  
Squall: No, not that sort of hand!  
  
Selphie: Oh!  
  
Squall: Now everyone, when you wake up you will remember nothing.  
  
Selphie: Hey, you don't want them to forget who they are etc.  
  
Squall: Oops, you won't remember what happened whilst you where hypnotized.  
  
Selphie: Ok, I will fix Zell and Quistis, you start with Irvine and Cid.  
  
Selphie goes to Zell and Quistis.  
  
Selphie: Now, when you wake up Quistis, you will love Zell and Zell you will try to stop being a loser.  
  
Squall: Hey, you can't meddle with their feelings!  
  
Selphie: Yes I can…and besides Quistis is a loser too, she will never get a bf!  
  
Squall: BF? Balamb Forces?  
  
Selphie: Noooo, boyfriend.  
  
Squall: Oh!  
  
Selphie: Now, you do Irvine and Cid while I do Rinoa.  
  
Squall goes to Cid and Irvine.  
  
Squall: Now Cid when you wake up remember to give us a level A.  
  
Selphie: Tell him to take care of Edea.  
  
Squall: Why? Oh! Ok, take care of Edea.  
  
Selphie: I will do Rinoa.  
  
Squall: Ok, ..um Irvine do you still want Selphie to be your girlfriend?  
  
Irvine: Of course, but I also want those other girls too.  
  
Squall: Ugh, when you wake up you will only want Selphie and I hope she didn't hear me say that.  
  
Selphie: Now, Rinoa when you wake up you will realize how much Squall cares for you and you will be his gf. I hope he didn't hear me…  
  
Squall: What about Seifer and his friends?  
  
Selphie: Fujin, you will go out with Seifer when you wake up.  
  
Squall: Yuck.  
  
Selphie: Well, now think of something for Raijin!  
  
Squall: …You will want to fish for the rest of your life?  
  
Selphie: Yuck.  
  
Squall: Ok, now everyone wake up!  
  
Everyone wakes up. Cid runs to Edea, who is beginning to regain consciousness.  
  
Irvine: I want Selphie to be my only gf and I hope she didn't hear me say that.  
  
Everyone: WHAT???  
  
Zell takes Quistis and they go out of the room embraced.  
  
Raijin: I am gonna go fishing, ya know?  
  
Selphie: Yes we do know and I should have told him to stop saying "ya know"!  
  
Cid: I am so impressed with your work everyone I am going to give you a rank A.  
  
Edea: What work?  
  
Cid: Um..erm…hmm…  
  
Fujin: DATE.  
  
Seifer: What?  
  
Fujin grabs Seifer and pulls him out of the room.  
  
Cid takes Edea back to his office while trying to remember why he was giving everyone a level A.  
  
Irvine, Selphie, Squall and Rinoa decide to go out to dinner together.  
  
So everyone lived happily ever after… except..  
  
Seifer: Why do I get Fujin?  
  
Fujin: LOVE.  
  
Seifer: HELP!!!!!!!!!  
  
Fujin: YOU TALK LIKE ME!  
  
Seifer: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU WHITE-HAIRED, PINK-EYED FREAK!!!!!! 


End file.
